I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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