Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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