break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
