i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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