When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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