I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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