If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
