would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
