Your favorite bartender is back from prision
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
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Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
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How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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