so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
