well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
