okay pat passed out under dana's car
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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