drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
