Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
