Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He felt like a one man threesome
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
