The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
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