It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize