Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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