i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
