Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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