Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
