Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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