You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize