I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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