the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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