just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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