we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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