Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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