I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
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Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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