kristin has been a bad kristin
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
