you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
third nipple confirmed
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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