It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
