Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
