I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
