i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
