Porn is love you can see.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
