I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
