I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
