worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
