oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Im just a social blackout drinker.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I am available for nakedness
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
