She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
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