He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
