It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
