Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
