well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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