I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
