Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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