ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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