Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
We are two peas in an std pod
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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