But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
