I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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