It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
