True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
How does it feel to date your dad?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
