Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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