No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize