Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
