She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
