Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize