you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
